[WEB SITE] I don’t want to be my husband’s caregiver

Yes, we both said our vows. But how many of us break them? Most of us, at one point or another.

Would he do this if our roles were reversed? Absolutely not. He’d be out of here in a minute.

He was cheating on me when his spine was crushed in a car accident. I have no idea where he was going that afternoon. He was supposed to be at work. It could have been a work meeting, a lunch time errand, whatever. But obviously I’m going to believe it was to meet her.

I had just found out, but hadn’t let him know I knew yet. I was deciding what to do; deciding if I should leave him or not.

And then I got the phone call.

It’s just assumed that I’ll take care of him. No one asked. I’m not sure how I would do it, though. I’m told it’ll take months for his disability to through. It’ll be years before we see any money from the lawsuit, if we ever get anything. I’m out on FMLA for now, but we can’t survive without an income. We were just barely getting by before.

I try not to think about the medical bills that are accumulating at this moment.

They keep talking about how they’ll be sending him home with me once he’s stable. As if I should be excited. I wasn’t sure if I wanted my husband home with me, but this isn’t really my husband. He’s like an ornery child. The personality changes could be temporary or permanent. He could regain the ability to do certain tasks on his own, depending on the severity of his TBI and how much his body heals.

This is not what I want for my life.

Before the accident my friends were telling me he didn’t deserve me. That I should pack up my bags and go. Or kick him out and fight him for the house in the divorce. Now those same friends are acting as if I should end my career and spend the rest of my days wiping his ass and fetching things for him. As if that was God’s plan for me.

Is it even an option to say no? How will I support us if I have to be here with him around the clock? Where will we live once we declare bankruptcy? What will happen to him if I leave.

It’s funny how once someone gets themselves smashed up they are made a saint. No one can say a bad thing about him now. But I will. He was a terrible husband.

And I don’t want to give up my life for his.

Anonymous

Source: I don’t want to be my husband’s caregiver | The Caregiver Space

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